Case Study: Yahoo Answers

April 30, 2013

I’ve come to the realization that Yahoo Answers is the electronic version of The Magic 8 Ball.  In other words, it’s the biggest pile of shit ever dumped into a flaming paper bag and dropped onto your virtual doorstep since the dawn of the Internet.

Here’s how it works:
1.)  User asks a question seeking a valid response.
2.) Question is then made available to a general population of experts, comprised mainly of YouTube trolls, single men over the age of forty and hipsters.  Answers are typically never longer than five words and usually written in butchered English or hipster shorthand.

Thanks to the contributions made by the single males over the age of forty group .01% of the responses found on the site are not entirely useless. 

I’m still trying to figure out why it exists?  It’s like a pipeline for fucking morons and Jeopardy rejects.  Do these folks not have access to Google?  With a half billion websites at our disposal there’s bound to be a few much more effective solutions.

Let’s look at an Example:

What is the correct title to use on a cover letter if a job posting doesn’t have a recipient name listed?

Adam S 

 

If a specific name is not listed on the job posting, an appropriate title would be: Dear Hiring Manager.

  PlainGuy1972  **Single Male over 40 group.

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PlainGuy1972 is clearly the outlier in this pack of apes.  Let’s have a look at some of the other responses…

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I don’t think dat it matterz cuz if you work hard and try at your job interview den you shouldn’t have to even write one. ❤ ❤ ❤

FunGlitterGirly95    **Od’ing on glitter…

Dear Pinhead.

L8erSk8er   **Most likely a YouTube Troll…

Good luck finding a job.  Company’s aren’t hiring because of the repressed economy, and too many jobs are moving overseas.  I’m not sure how the U.S. is going to to compete with China’s economic growth in the coming decades.  On top of that, I’ll never see a Social Security check.  Thanks a lot, Obummer.

DamnYankee456   **Thanks for not giving two shits about my question…

It really depends on the company.

MorpheusFTW  **Over-analyzer.  Definitely a Jeopardy reject.  Matrix Junkie too.  Matrix Junkie too.  (See what I did there?)

I don’t think you needa cover letter for some places like where I got my job at Taco Bell.  Dey jus need to know dat you know how to work.  Lolz!  K, bye!

MaloryBabez97  **There are aliens among us…

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Statistical Breakdown:

– 85% of Respondents would likely fail a standard 5th grade literacy test.

– 34% of Respondents probably don’t  know how to spell the word literacy.

– 34% of Respondents speak fluent Hipster.

– 17% of Respondents pose a threat to your computer security.

– 17% of Respondents pose a threat to national security.

– 100% of this post is made up.

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And that’s all I got.   

Cheers to a happy May.  April, you can kiss my skinny ass.

–Happy Blogging \m/

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Written by Adam Posted in humor Tagged with Adam S, Funny, Google, Hipsters, humor, humour, Magic Eight Ball, MRTB, my right to bitch, Speaking in Hipster, Yahoo, Yahoo Answers, Yahoo Answers Sucks