1. Jean

    I had a supervisor who used to tell me, “When life hands you lemons, turn that shit into GOLD!”

    Another cliche I can’t stand is “It is what it is.” Grrrr . . . But what if you could make it so it isn’t what it is? What if you could fix what it is? Impotent bastards.

      • Jean

        Too busy to keep up on my favorite blogs, but decided to hop over to yours and . . BEHOLD! You had posted 11 minutes before I got there. I must have been getting some Chowderhead “vibes.”

        Cruel nature jokes. There are too many to number. The older you get, the more you find.

  2. SocietyRed

    Excellent verbal bitch-slap.
    I hate that lemon to lemonade bullshit too. That’s right up there with “absence make the heart grow fonder”. Fuck that.

    • Adam S

      Red, absence makes the heart hurt like a motherfucker, is what I think it was supposed to say. And thank you, I’m making my rounds, sir. Good to see you again. I have a few of yours to catch up on.

    • Adam S

      Hello, cougar! When life hands you a pile of shit:

      1.) Place pile of shit in paper bag using protective latex glove
      2.) Place paper bag on the party pooper neighbor’s porch – the one that calls the cops on everyone and whines about people treading the grass.
      3.) Light bag on fire
      4.) Ring Doorbell
      5.) Run away giggling

      Take that, life.

    • Adam S

      Thanks you, Judo Master Cathy. Thank you for always reading my stuff. Can I call you a fan? Can I call you on the phone? I know of a great local Bistro that really knows how to do up an Oyster.

  3. rheath40

    Why not get some tequila and salt to when life hands you lemons? I know, it’s supposed to be a lime. We’re talking tequila here though, and any citrus fruit will do.

  4. becca3416

    I know someone who eats lemons, rhine and all. She is obviously confused on the proper way to handle her lemons. Maybe you can lay the verbal smack down on her too.

    I think this is FP material. Just sayin’. I’m half giggling half scribbling down plans to start an empire with my lemons.

    • Adam S

      Oh man, I mean, I know girls don’t poo, but she’s probably an exception to the rule there. Does she eat Banana peels too?

      Freshly Pressed?! Geez, thanks boosifberry! I could only hope……..

  5. The Bumble Files

    Excellent discourse. I personally love the lemon ices. Those are the best! Yeah, lemons, the possibilities are endless. Way to think BIG. I know you’re going places!!

    • Adam S

      Hey thanks, Amy. I’m going places alright! I’m gonna start with the bathroom. Be right back…

      *Final Jeopardy Theme*

      …ok, I’m back. What were we talking about? Lemon Ices! Yes, those are fucking fantastic. They remind me of Cedar Point for some reason.

    • Adam S

      Hang on a sec, Jen, I’m in the middle of a hamburger orgasm. God. This is the BEST effing burger I’ve ever had in my life…

      Ok, and yes, I like that idea. What time you want me over? Please tell me this isn’t gonna be one of those lame ass “BYOB” parties. If so, serious party foul, Jen. Serious party foul!

  6. lillianccc

    I just chuck them back to where they came from. Had a few lemons thrown at me lately but I decided it was too much hassle to try and squeeze lemonade out of them so I let them rot first before throwing them back. Makes more of a statement that way.

  7. stephrogers

    Who is this “life” individual and why are they handing out lemons anyway? Why can’t they hand me something more useful, like powers of teleportation, or the ability to duplicate anything exactly with the blink of an eye? Who wants lemons?

    • Adam S

      No thank you no, I don’t like lemons no mo. Teleportation would be fantastic. I’m actually working on a portal at the moment. I’ll keep you posted.

  8. Maddie Cochere

    If someone handed me lemons, I’d put them in this blasted pitcher of water I’m drinking since I gave up sugar last week, and now I’m in Coke and M&M withdrawal. But your idea was much better.

  9. cestlavie22

    Poor dumbfounded nerd! Here he was trying to make some casual bench warming conversation and you have to come along with your intelligent spin on a widely accepted cliche…

  10. Pingback: Blog Carnival V2 - The Indie Chicks

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