Sleep Deprivation Olympic Challenge: Day 1 Results

**In case you missed the introduction to this whole mess that I’m subjecting myself to, be sure to read here first:  Chowderhead’s Official Sleep Deprivation Olympic Challenge.**

Well, Day 1 of the challenge began and ended with only a few minor burps, but all in all, things are going pretty smoothly.

It’s important to note: 

"Do these boobs make my dress look small?"

“Do these boobs make my dress look small?”

I haven’t officially been awake for twenty four hours because I accidentally fell asleep during the first hour while watching an episode of The Real Housewives of some posh, tropical county.  Shortly after that I slipped on a bar of soap in the shower and hit my head on the soap tray.

I still don’t really know exactly how long I was out for..

However, as the early hours of this study peel off the clock, I’m starting to feel like sleep is just an overrated, productivity-killing waste of time.  I mean, how the hell are we supposed to advance as a society when everybody’s larding around for eight hours everyday?

I intend to take full advantage of those additional eight hours each night by catching up on a few chores that I’ve been meaning to get to for awhile.

Summary of Events, Accomplishments, and Other Stuff from Day 1:

– Watched 14 straight episodes of Mork and Mindy.

– Washed, starched, and ironed my button down shirt.  Four times.

– Alphabetized my cereal cabinet.

Nice job guys.  Next time use less water though...

Nice job guys. Next time use less water though…

– Smoked an entire carton of Cigarettes.

– Drank three pots of Coffee.

– Watched an interesting YouTube tutorial on how to bake a Pineapple upside-down cake.

– Took the entire 12th precinct out for lunch after they extinguished my Pineapple upside-down cake kitchen fire.  (D’oh!)

-Went to the rental place and borrowed a pump to remove (roughly) 400 gallons of hydrant water from my basement.  (D’oh!!!)

– Re-painted kitchen.

– Bought and installed a Clapper for every light in the house. (No applause, please.  No, really, don’t do that.)

– Wrote a blog post.

No-Sleep Tracker:

24 hours 

(subtract)  1.5 hours for Real Housewives nap

(subtract) 3.5 hours for accidental Shower Tumble (d’oh!!!!)


19 hours without sleep


I’m winning big here.  But I think I need…zzz…another..zzz…cup of coffee.

-Happy Blogging, Chowderheads o_-

Click HERE for Day 2 Results


  1. speaker7

    That’s interesting that you find yourself snoozing whilst watching RHOC. For me, it induces heavy vomiting and a desire for plastic surgery.

    • Adam S

      I’m sorry, Cutter, but I ate it all. Remember, with eight extra hours to doink around, that many more calories are required. I now eat three breakfasts per day.

  2. Ambre Neuser-Gajewski

    Oh the RHOC is great for insomnia! Sleep deprivation does shorten your life span, according to the Today Show this morning, so after your experiment you should sleep for like a week. However, it can also make you sick, so if I were you I would load yourself up with antihistamines that do not make you drowsy, or better yet wait till after the 18 days is up, and take lots of sleep inducing drugs to sleep for a week, therefore expanding your life span and making yourself pretty. They don’t call it beauty sleep for nothing. Also, if you have never (and I am not admitting that I have done this) but I hear playing World of War Craft is addicting and makes it easy to not sleep, specially during over night hours.

    • Adam S

      Amber, your transition from Facebook to WordPress excites me greatly. Welcome. Come, sit down and have a coffee. Decaf or regular? One lump or two?

      Ok, now then…

      …What the hell is the RHOC? It sounds like a cheap STD clinic or something. Don’t fret, my life will be long and fruitful so long as I have coffee and a high definition TV. And one last thing: WoW Southpark episode – the bed pan scene – slays me Every. Single. Time.

      • Ambre Neuser-Gajewski

        RHOC real housewives of Orange County. Yeah, stay away if you can! And thank you for the wonderful welcome. I will take Decaf, and two lumps!

      • Adam S

        Thank you, Combat Babe. Your check is in the mail. But I’ll probably be getting it in my mail because I ran out of stamps…

    • Adam S

      Ginger, this is more than just a blog post, good friend. This is true life. The letters are all running together. The world surrounding is beginning to dim. What is this madness? WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?!!!!

      P.S. yes, I agree.

  3. CombatBabe

    CH, I can’t believe you are taking this on. Good luck to you. But question. If you fell asleep don’t you have to start over again in order to really beat the world record of sleep deprivation?

    • Adam S

      CB, this is the most trying time of my life. I don’t think I’m going to make it…already. I need your blessing and support to carry on. And waking from my shower slip incident marks the beginning of the trial period. Start time delayed…a bit.

  4. alienredqueen

    If you’re going to continue to not sleep, you might want to invest in an e-cig like I did. It will not only save your lung, but will ensure you won’t, you know, black out and set yourself on fire and what not.

    • Adam S

      Lucy, why the fuck do you have to be so practical all the time? Every time you spit on the cake while you’re blowing out my candles! I’m going to mail you a jar with a fart in it if you don’t shape up.

      P.S. How are things? And the little one?

      • alienredqueen

        Dude…farts are a face-punchable offence. No ass-gas, thank you.

        Things are pretty good, although I have been neglecting the blog, what with my new addiction to Words of Wonder (yes, I know I’m a nerd) and Dead Island (flaming machete, you say?)

      • Adam S

        I bruise easily. Please. I’m sorry. *Cough* Booger head *Cough*

        I never heard of either one of those things? You’re like, a deep-cut nerd! 😉

    • Adam S

      Dorothy, Nanu Nanu. I love that show. Robin Williams was always a snappy dresser, wasn’t he? Not like his girlfriend on that show…whatever the fuck her name is. She was nothing but plastic head bands and mom jeans..

  5. iRuniBreathe

    What you will do for science (and blog fodder) is truly remarkable.
    Your cereal alphabetizing sounds like something Seinfeld would do.
    I wish you many more sleepless hours.

    • Adam S

      I take that as the highest form of flattery. Thank you for your blessings and kind words. Jerry’s actually a cousin of mine, if you can believe that. You shouldn’t because he’s not. Rock on, chicky. Good to chat with you again. It’s been a few! \m/

  6. becca3416

    So, I can’t sleep— oh….. I’m doing this wrong….

    On a different note, had one of the poll options been “make an egg with cheese” I would have voted for that instead of “conversation with couch” … Twice

  7. Pingback: Sleep Deprivation Olympic Challenge: Day 2 Results | Chowderhead
  8. calahan

    My personal record was 57 hours, but that was back in high school. Based on my experience, though, keep trudging along because your second wind will come along and then you’ll be watching even more crappy television.

  9. Pingback: The Sleep Deprivation Challenge Ends | Chowderhead
  10. Pingback: Thank You | Chowderhead
  11. Pingback: Chowderhead’s Official Sleep Deprivation Olympic Challenge | Chowderhead

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