Sleep Deprivation Olympic Challenge: Day 2 Results


**Part One and Two can be found here:  Chowderhead’s Official Sleep Deprivation Olympic Challenge. and here:   Sleep Deprivation Olympic Challenge: Day 1 Results

 It’s only the second day of the competition and I’m already unraveling at the seams.  As of right now, I’m starting to feel like a hammer-smashed pile of overcooked broccoli.

Day 2 Recap:  Fear and Loathing at the Local Laundromat

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

This is where I had my tooth extracted, but to the left a little bit by the counter.

I spent the first few early morning hours at some dirty laundromat around the corner, glazed over, watching a pack of wild goobers meticulously folding their yellowed whites.

At one point, the Chowderhead at the front counter started to get lippy with me after I expressed my concerns over the excessive lint piles that, in my opinion, should be periodically swept from the folding tables.

I made a very dry remark about her missing front tooth after she refused to acknowledge my request, and the next thing I recall was a sort of white flash – like a computer rebooting – and myself on all fours, on the floor, staring at the tooth that had been forcefully removed from my head.

Luckily, for the sake of this experiment, I didn’t completely blackout.

After the lop-sided boxing match, I sat in the corner on a cheap collapsible chair, pouting, and watching the loads spinning simultaneously in front of their circular glass portholes.  “Cheap panties and Levi’s,” I thought to myself.  The slow, painful deterioration of my consciousness only accelerated from there…

Adjacent to me was a lice-infested brown sofa in the corner of the mat.  The sloppy “love” seat was looking at me strangely, as if it had something important to tell me.  It’s pillow pads began to distort and curl into a mouth-like shape.

And that’s when I realized I lost my mind.

Sofa:  “She’s a fiesty one, ain’t she?”

Adam:  “…?”

Sofa:  “So, was that your first time getting knocked out by a girl?”

Adam:  “I didn’t get knocked out.”

Sofa:  “Sure looked like it to me?”

Adam:  “I said I didn’t get knocked out.  And besides, it was a cheap shot.”

Sofa:  “I know a guy who can put that (tooth) back in for you.”

Adam:  “Is the guy you’re referencing a coffee table by chance?”

Sofa:  “You know him?”

Adam:  “Please stop talking to me right now. I have a headache.”

Sofa:  “You should lay down.”

Pee Wee's PlayhouseAdam:  “Listen, I’m not gonna sit here and back and forth it with you right now.  I just want to sit here where it’s quiet and not talk to anyone.  Or any couches.”

Sofa:  “Are you always this cranky?”

Adam:  “None of your business.”

Sofa:  “Fair enough.”

Adam:  “…”

(Momentary silence)

Sofa:  “Wanna hear a funny joke?”

Adam:  “You know what, I can’t take this anymore.  I’m leaving.”  (Gets up)

Sofa:  “Wait, it’s a really good one…”

*****

I grabbed my load of towels and gave the Chowderhead a dirty look on my way out the door.  I’ll be sending a dental bill very shortly…

Sleep Tracker: 

Day 1: 19 hours

Day 2: 24 hours

———————

43 hours without sleep. 

Need.  Aspirin.  Now.

*****

– Happy Blogging, Chowderheads o_O

CLICK HERE for Day 3 Results

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41 comments

  1. Titania

    Haha. Made my day. You’ve lost your mind on the second day, Chowderhead? Don’t give up! Break that world record and drink more coffee! 😀

  2. anitadesignstudio

    I read your most recent update today whilst sitting at my desk in the office. I started laughing out loud at my computer screen and my colleagues looked at me even more strangely than they normally do. Thanks for that. No really. They definitely think I now have mental problems. I really wanted the dialogue with the sofa to continue a little bit longer. I think that sofa and me could be great buddies.

    • Adam S

      Dude, that seriously made my day. Thank you for that. You’re definitely not sitting in the “tough crowd” section of the stadium! I want a video of this next time. I’m serious. YouTube that shite!

  3. anitadesignstudio

    Awh, that’s nice. I’m glad that my mental instability has made your day!! 😉 YouTube me laughing at out loud at my computer screen in the office?? I can’t do that!! People will talk. When you say ‘tough crowd’, you mean I laugh easily?? Yea, I probably do. But I like silly humour. I dig it bro, you know?

    • Adam S

      It always does! Dude, you leave me some of the funniest comments. And yes, you do laugh easily. It makes my role as joke-maker much easier!

      • anitadesignstudio

        So there IS a benefit to being mentally instable!! It means I make YOUR life a little better. That, I can deal with. Dude, don’t sell yourself short. You’re an awesome ‘joke-maker’ regardless of my ‘easiness’. Wait, that came out wrong.

  4. SondraBrooks2012@gmail.com

    Okay, well, people may think what you’re doing is funny and all, but you know from my previous posts that I kind of mother you, and I’m telling you that what you’re doing is terribly bad for you and very hard on your central nervous system. So what if you break a record? No one will even remember you doing so, and if they do, it’s only because you have to remind them over and over on your blog throughout the years. And that would be kind of pathetic, don’t you think? I still think you should go hike the Pacific Coast Trail or something, because you’re not going to break many records here, bub. Think of the people who have stayed up for 4 days straight to study for the bar, or work an intern shift at the hospital, or whatever… And you’ll be saying, “Yeah, man, but I stayed up for 4 days and accomplished…um…let me see… well, I can’t remember what I did, but aren’t I a cool motherfucker?” Go hike the trail, and do it in, say, 2 months, instead of the usual six it takes most people. Then you’ll REALLY be breaking records, my little sleep-deprived blogger friend.

    Oh, and by the way, I recently ate 96 raw oysters in one sitting, You want to break a record? Try it!

    Still sending XXOOOs to you…

    Sondra

    • Adam S

      Sondra, I think that what you just told me would make more sense after I take a nap. Wait! No! Don’t say that, Adam! No napping for two and a half more weeks. What day is it? What year…….?

  5. Ambre

    If you’re already talking to couches, this is gonna get interesting. Next time you talk to furniture ask it really weird questions, like who was the coolest person who ever sat on it, or if they have ever met any celebrities. Maybe they could teach you something, like how to convert a table into a sled (I hear its pretty easy!)

    • Adam S

      That couch looked like it had witnessed more than just people sitting on it, Ambre. I’m pretty sure it was a secondhand 70’s porno couch. Maybe Ron Jeremy signed the bottom of it and I missed out on a great investment opportunity? Picture me on Antique Roadshow standing in line with it:

      “You can see, when we turn this piece over, that this couch was in fact signed by ‘The Hedgehog’ himself. Unfortunately, because of the wear here on the pleather (points with pencil), and because it might be a potential health hazard, I estimate this couch to be valued at somewhere between four and five dollars…”

      • Ambre

        Four to Five dollars…oh come on, people will pay like hundreds to see a picture of a dogs ass that “looks like Jesus” so you might be able to get a few more bucks than that. People are stupid. And some people are obsessed with 70’s porn! Then again , you might have a homeless guy who’s like “you could not pay be enough to sit on that couch…granted for a Klondike bar maybe!”

  6. Jen and Tonic

    That Pee Wee Herman couch is so damn disturbing. Today I thought of you because I took a nap after only getting four hours of sleep last night. I looked and felt like death warmed over…like Keith Richards but with less drugs in my system.

    • Adam S

      Dude, I used to watch the shit outta that show. What a classic! I’m feeling so incredibly weird right now, Jen. I can’t even explain it. Comment replies are taking me roughly 30 minutes a piece to edit. Thankfully, very few people gave a flying fuck about this particular update. Get your rest, girl friend.

  7. desertrose7

    That was incredibly funny, but seriously Sondra is right. You can end up having a psychotic episode from sleep deprivation where you might just NEED a couch.

    • Adam S

      Thank you, darlin! It’s good to have you drop in like the olden days! I’m experiencing a sort of psychic episode right now, as a matter of fact. I’m seeing nachos…Mmm..and……wait, yes….jalapeños..and cheese…..Mmm….yes..going into my mouth right now.

      I’ll be back in a bit. I’m going to grab some nachos.

      Holy shit, I was right!! Maybe I have a future after all. Wait, let me double check on that.

    • Adam S

      Calahan, I wouldn’t touch that couch with someone else’s pointer finger attached to my hand. The smell…it’s still lingering. It’s on my clothing and I didn’t even sit on it…

  8. Miriam E.

    Nice excercise to stay awake also might be excessive bathroom-tile-scrubbing with toothbrush and bleach. At your sleep deprivation level, with the added fumes, you might find yourself having interesting conversations with your bath products…

  9. Pingback: Late King of Pop, Michael Jackson Went 60 Days Without ‘Real’ Sleep – Expert Says | Tafia Voices
  10. Titania

    Oh no, Adam… don’t tell me you’ve fallen asleep! You were gonna break the world record and everything! Don’t give in! And if you have, don’t give in next time!

  11. Jonny

    Gosh, you must look… well… pretty darn shitty mate. I get anything less that 7.5 hours of sleep and I look like a pale old rag.

  12. 1jaded1

    Are you still doing the marathon of no sleep? I’m thinking about putting an APB out on you, but considering where you live, it may never be answered…

  13. Pingback: The Sleep Deprivation Challenge Ends | Chowderhead

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