Holy Sex Toys, Batman!


*Graphic Article About Sex Toys Alert*   *Graphic Article About Sex Toys Alert*   *Graphic Article About Sex Toys Alert*   

*****

My Fotoshop skills are not improving...

My Fotoshop skills are not improving…

It’s been a long time coming, but me and one of my absolute favorite west coast enigmas have teamed up to provide a ridiculous commentary on some of the wildest pleasure tools that money can buy.

The mystery woman I’m referring to operates under the alias Singlegirlie, and her sultry feminine scent still lingers here.

Let’s backtrack.  I call her an enigma because for as many times as we’ve chatted, I still don’t know what the hell she looks like.  For all I know she could be some freaky carnival dude living in a van down by the park river.  Even if that were the case, he/she’d still be funny.

So strap on your stilettos and take a stroll with us down the neverending isle of rubber wieners and pocket vaginas:

Weird Sex Toys That Will Never See My Junk

Earmuffs.

– Catch ya’ll on the flip-side, Chowderheads \m/

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35 comments

  1. singlegirlie

    Dammit, Adam, you’ve blown my cover. I am in fact a freaky carnival dude, but I live in an outhouse down by the swamp. My best friend is a gator named Tammy. To write my blog posts I sneak into unsuspecting citizen’s homes to use their Macbooks. Don’t tell.

  2. Vanessa-Jane Chapman

    Believe it or not, I used to sell products like that in house parties, tupperware party style! For a company called Ann Summers here in the UK which I don’t think you have over there. You wouldn’t imagine me to do such a thing would you, but its true!

  3. anitadesignstudio

    Hopped over to singlegirlie’s blog. Hilarious. Absolutely hilarious. The Chin Dick had me in complete stitches – I was laughing proper out loud…in front of my laptop…alone!! And then visualising a dude strapping on both the Chin Dick and Sqweel just kinda finished me off. Not like that!!
    Wee story: when I first moved into my apartment one of my friends decided to buy me quite a unique housewarming gift in the form of a ‘pocket rocket’ (I’m tellin’ the truth, ok? I didn’t buy it…my FRIEND did!!). I was so preoccupied with organising my new pad that I left it sitting on the kitchen worktop in all its shiny, chrome glory; when you live alone social etiquette kinda goes out the window basically because you only have to think about yourself, so I didn’t really give much thought to my UNUSED (*avoids eye contact*) pocket rocket sharing the same space as my garlic crusher and kettle. Anyway, a removal guy was in my apartment off-loading (seriously, behave) some of my furniture and was admiring the views from my apartment but kept glancing at the kitchen worktop in a very strange manner. As soon as he’d left I charged into my kitchen to see what he kept staring at and was mortified when I saw little Mr ‘all noise no substance’ beaming up at me. Two seconds later he texted me asking if I wanted to go out on date….sheesh…

    • Adam S

      Thanks, Neets! Dude, that is fucking hilarious! I’m telling you, you need to start video taping your life. You have YouTube personality written all over you!

      • anitadesignstudio

        Thanks amigo but not quite as hilarious as your collaborative post! Ads, I can’t do YouTube…What would I say? Who would watch? Would I have to shave my legs? What shade of lip gloss would I choose? Yea, I do have some cracker stories, especially about my dating life…don’t get me started on the ‘psychotic chef’ who had a stash of Dior Anti-Wrinkle cream in his bathroom cabinet…but his pork chops were sublime.

      • anitadesignstudio

        Erm, let me see, how can I put this; it’s been road tested but failed to deliver the punch line. I prefer a much more hands on approach, ye know? Can’t believe I’m typing this on such a public form. This is all your fault Sendek; damn you!

  4. Ambre

    I love that my two favorite bloggers have combined their skills once again. Thank you for that. Also, thanks for the nightmares that I will be having later. As I laugh, the reality is I will not be taking my vibrator out of my dresser anytime soon (granted I never use the thing much anyway cause I’m old school). Maybe I’ll have a dream about my vibrator coming to life to smack me around a bit for being so close minded to the strangeness that sex toys can offer.

    • Adam S

      I’m honored to be mentioned as one of them, Ambre. Seriously. Now, on to more important things. Open your mind to the world of plastic penises. You will add ten years to your life from not having to deal with a man ever again. Consider what I’m telling you…

      • Ambre

        True, men can make women go crazy. I’ll take your suggestion and give it some serious thought!

    • singlegirlie

      Aw, thanks! I can see you… lying in your bed asleep… suddenly you hear a buzz… you open your eyes… and it’s your vibe poking at you, wondering why you’ve neglected him all this time. You will pay, Ambre. You will pay. BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

      • Ambre

        Oh man, I can see the horror movie (or lifetime movie, same thing?) writing its self. I think I’ll hide under the covers tonight since of course my sheet can protect me from everything just like it did when I was 5 and there were monsters under my bed.

  5. Pepper Culpepper

    Don’t mind me, I’m just passing through to do a little shameless self promotion at your expense, Adam 🙂 But seriously, still loving your blog after all this time. If I remember correctly, we both started our blogs in Nov. 2012 and you’ve come a long way since then. Congrats on the success of Chowderhead! Sincerely, Pepper 🙂
    http://zenpaleoliving.wordpress.com/

    • Chowderhead

      Thanks a lot! I never thought that writing on a ‘blog’ would turn out to be this much fun. I actually started mine in September of that year, but that would be splitting hairs I guess.

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