Shattering the Mirror


Nicole Marie

Nicole Marie

If you missed Nicole Marie’s post on Tuesday, I’d recommend going back and giving it a read.  It was a highly personal, and very powerful piece of poetry that was well-deserving of the attention that it received.    

Of Me speaks about negative self perception of body image from a young woman’s perspective.  It carries a universal theme, and it’s a demon that a lot of people have either dealt with in the past, or are still currently battling.

I’ve read a lot of heavy-topic articles around the web, but this was the first time I ever read something that actually moved me to tears.

It was the closing stanza that really poked me:

I am, she says, a well-wrapped box of weeds and good intentions, worn at the seams – no card attached.  But she will never learn the weight of her own gravity; she will never see the blue of the sky, if she never raises her eyes to it.

A dude by the name of Rich then followed up with a thoughtful interpretation of those two lines:

It speaks to me because most of us view weeds as bad. but dandelions are beautiful weeds.  There are many colorful weeds along highways. and what of the weed itself?  It’s just following nature, growing, absorbing water and CO2 like a rose or a holly or mums.  So it’s got the same good intentions as those other, more appreciated plants, and it cleans the air for humans, just like the more beautiful flowers.  It isn’t always as pretty, but it does the same things for the balance of nature.  Good intentions.

The insight that Rich provided is reflective of my own life philosophy.

I think any attempt to bully someone into accepting some version of “ideal” is actually an attempt to mask an insecurity or fear of the aggressor.  And by consequence, all it does is create an insecurity in an otherwise secure person.  In other words, nobody is born into this world with a negative self-perception; it’s a learned behavior.  

That critical voice in your head is not your own.  Figure out who’s voice it is and toss it.

Realize that you’re an asset as you are; use your own greatest strengths, and maintain your free-spiritedness and free-thinking mindset.  Allow the pockets of peace to grow and expand until they completely fill you.  We all have something unique and important to contribute.  

Keep admiring your authenticity, and become the eye of the beholder.  If you can maintain that mindset, you might not ever have to look into another mirror again.  It was a courageous piece that you wrote, Nicole Marie.

Chin square to the ground at all times.  Salute.        

 \m/

*****

Tomorrow is the last day to submit your Movember Mustaches before the contest ends.  Click here to visit the contest post.  I’ll be announcing the winners here on Saturday Morning, and I might even break down and do a VIDEO drawing.  Yes! \m/  In the meantime, please donate a couple of bucks to the Movember Cause if you can.  Even a small donation would be greatly appreciated.    

*****

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12 comments

  1. Nicole Marie

    Adam,

    Wow. To know my words meant this much to you…it is all I could ask for. Thank you again for the opportunity to share this with you and everyone who read it, and I am so happy to have spread some sort of awareness. This really made me smile, and pushed me on step further away from doubting my own self worth.

    Xoxoxo,
    Nicole Marie

    PS
    thanks for making me look all mysterious and badass in that picture!

    • Chowderhead

      First of all, that picture IS fucking badass. It would make a great vinyl album cover, so if you ever decide to pursue a music career, throw me a bone, will ya?

      Second, it really did have that deep of an impact on me because I’ve been there before, and I’ve also consoled a few close friends that have dealt with the same insecurities. I think beauty is way too defined, and the criteria is superficial. You have a lot to offer in every department, and I hope you realize that, like, right now. Don’t wait.

      Thanks for the words and things, NM \m/

  2. brainsnorts

    i greatly appreciate being noticed and mentioned, especially for something this important to one’s thoughts about oneself. it’s like having a conversation with someone, and certain things are said, and then you just feel like, “wow. you ‘get’ me. you understand. thanks.” of course, that’s giving myself a little too much credit, but it’s a bar i’ve stepped up to before. only it was a real bar. and there were people all buying the next round as we attempted to play pool and darts and that thing where you throw those blue and red pucks down through the sawdust, like a shuffleboard thing. and there was a band upstairs, and some kickass wings and nachos. and that really drunk guy who still thought it was the 70’s. he was fun, but he needed a shower. i think i need a shower too. what is it? thursday? then i needed a shower yesterday. brb..

    • Chowderhead

      Not a prob, Rich. Like I mentioned, your explanation is my life philosophy. I think you fully deserve the credit too, because it’s a sensible and wide-angle view of the world. We all really do have something important to contribute. It’s tough sometimes not to get wrapped up in all the hype of the group, I’m not gonna lie. I’ve dealt with my own issues too. But I think when you rise above the popular opinions, you’re one step closer to realizing your truest potential.

      It’s every bit of Thursday today, and I agree – go take a shower. Something gamey is lingering here…

      Thanks for your input.

  3. Ned's Blog

    Nicole’s post reverberates because her words and honesty are things so many of us see within ourselves at some level. I find it more than ironic that, in this age of “communication,” keeping a strong identity and sense of self seems to be more difficult than ever. While social media has opened the doors and allowed more people into the conversation, it has also created a lot of white noise — and within it, the voices of people who feel free to bully and tear down others without any sense of consequence or responsibility. As Rich said, being a “weed” possesses its own type of beauty. Not the least of which is its ability to withstand harshness and still thrive — and eventually find itself surrounded by others like itself. Thank you for reblogging this, and for the fertile soil you have created here.

  4. Chowderhead

    Ned,
    That was an extremely cool comment. This in particular:
    “While social media has opened the doors and allowed more people into the conversation, it has also created a lot of white noise — and within it, the voices of people who feel free to bully and tear down others without any sense of consequence or responsibility.”

    That’s exactly my point. This is one of those topics/subject matters that I put all clowning around aside for. It’s something that truly pisses me at the core level; when I see someone break down or get stuck in a rut because of someone else bearing down on them with a big fucking mouth or lack of sensitivity.

    A lot of what I do is Satirical. I’m sure you’ve picked up on that by now, and it’s founded in a deep desire for us to all find a way to “get along”, despite our differences. I think everyone is worthy of an opinion and no two are alike – but also, with that said, don’t ever assume that your opinion or way of life should trump someone else’s. I like to refer to it as ego-driven bullshit, and there aren’t enough Tupperware tubs in the world to accommodate all of it floating around cyberspace.

    Thanks so much for chiming in. Pass it on. But more importantly, live that shit. Everyday.

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