Terminology Quick-Reference Guide
Aggressive Symphony – (n.) A hard rock or heavy metal band.
Approvalwhorism – (n.) A genetic condition that causes an individual to demand frequent attention.
Bar Peacock – (n.) A male bar-goer that is often seen wearing tight-fitting, designer clothing for the purpose of showing off pecks. (also see tool)
Bitcher – (n.) A person that follows the My Right to Bitch blog.
Bloggerhood – (n.) A virtual neighborhood of bloggers.
Blog-Humper – (n.) A blogger.
Blog-Humping Machine – (n.) A computer.
Blorgy – (n.) A blogger orgy. An event involving multiple bloggers in which awards and praise are distributed wildly.
[CENSORED] – Fuck. (slang)
Cheese-Dick – (n.) A term used to insult a bad driver; most commonly used during a road rage episode.
- Sample Usage: “Get out of the fast lane, Cheese-Dick!”
Conductor of an Aggressive Symphony – (n.) The drummer of a hard rock or heavy metal band.
Cyber Gonorrhea – (n.) Computer Virus that is contracted through an internet porn site.
Dude – 1.) (n.) A male subspecies. (also see bar peacock)
2.) (n.) A term of endearment used for a male or female. sample usage: “Dude, you fucking rock.”
Ear-Humper – (n.) A person that talks too much.
Fotoshop – (n.) Microsoft Paint (Photoshop substitute)
(Adj.) The process of editing photos using Microsoft Paint.
Grey Season – (n.) A season similar to winter that is exclusive to Michigan. It is characterized by daily overcast skies and absence of sunlight. Spans the months between January and April, and occasionally May.
Halloweiner – (n.) A homeowner that does not celebrate Halloween, and/or passes out junk candy or fliers. Halloweiners are usually Pat Robertson groupies.
Irritable Mouth Syndrome – (n.) IMS (abr.) – A condition of the mouth and central nervous system that causes someone to talk a lot.
Le Clown – (n.) (le) Blogger phenom. Wearer of makeup. Possesses the ability to impregnate women by simply looking at them. Winner of the prestigious Alan Smithee Blog Award. http://clownonfire.wordpress.com/
Measuring Cup Method – (n.) A technique used for comparing one’s prestige to another’s.
Motherboarding – (n.) (Similar to Waterboarding). A procedure for dealing with a cyber terrorist, which involves tying the accused to a chair, and repeatedly hitting the person on the head with a stack of motherboards. The act is performed to prevent the creation and spread of computer viruses.
Nut-Monkey – (n.) A squirrel.
Orange Barrel Season – (n.) Construction season. A yearly nuisance that spans the months of May and August in Michigan. Statistically, it is the season with the highest number of road rage incidents.
Ozmotron 5000 – (n.) A Japanese robot that was purchased by Oprah Winfrey”s “Harpo Productions”, and more commonly known as “Dr. Oz”. The robot was created to instill fear in the minds of an impressionable audience. The robot is operated by Verne Troyer.
Political Pete – (n.) A person that shares their political views without being prompted.
Political Rockstar – (n.) A campaigning politician. (also see cheese-dick)
Post Traumatic Pressed Disorder – (n) A stress disorder associated with being Freshly Pressed. Symptoms include, but are not limited to: nervousness upon hearing door bells and other dinging sounds; carpal tunnel syndrome and/or inability to maintain grip of small-diameter objects; mild depression/melancholy after the party is over.
Religious Rick – (n.) A person that shares their religious views without being prompted.
Storyteller Steve – (n.) A person that exaggerates stories in order to make their life sound more interesting than it actually is.
TMI Guy – (n.) TMI (Too Much Information) (abr.) A person that provides excessive amounts of highly personal information with complete strangers.
Twilliteracy – (n.) Twitter Illiteracy. Lack of knowledge pertaining to the usage of Twitter.
Weird Part of YouTube – (n.) An expansive collection of YouTube videos that portray disgusting and bizarre subject matter. Includes (but not limited to) barfing, zit-popping, pooping, and family home videos of animals fornicating at the zoo. If a viewer wishes to leave this area, they should close their browser window and reopen the web page. Related videos will not direct the viewer away from this area.