A few weeks ago I was experiencing a blog identity crisis and announced that I would be undergoing a sex change.  I mean a name change.  Since then, amid all of your incredibly cool suggestions, and all of the dumbass names that I came up with myself, I still haven’t decided on one.

My indecisiveness leads me to believe one of two things: 1.) I’m not incorporating enough essential fatty oils into my diet, or 2.) I’m pregnant.

All that aside, I made a promise that I intend to keep and I’m gonna make good on it today.  But I’m changing the rules up a bit; instead of blabbing on and on about one person, one winner, I’m about to throw a bunch of thick-skinned blogger buddies of mine onto the barbecue.

Congratulations.  You’re all winners of the Name Adam’s Dumb Blog Contest!

Here’s how the whole thing’s gonna play out:  I rip you to pieces, you cry for a few minutes, then you send me an anonymous death threat or a horse head, then we hug and makeup, and then you drop me a PayPal contribution for publicizing your blog!  I just threw that last part in there.  It’s not mandatory.

The Premise of the Roast:  

I have a couple of really sharp computer geek friends that figured out a way to reverse the search term feed.  I know who used what search terms to find my blog, and today I’m gonna let the dirty little kitty out of the bag.  I’ll also try my best to address your long-forgotten queries.  Of course I’m making all this shit up right now, but just play along.

So sit back, relax, crack a beer, throw some ABBA on the stereo, and soak up the sweet insults of the First Inaugural Roast.   Continue reading →